"Bret," Rayna started, "I want to say something."
"What baby," he said placing a kiss on my nose.
"I DO want to start over. Fresh. And there's nothing to forgive. I've been thinking that in all fairness, I never gave you a chance to explain." she leaned over and placed a kiss on his chest.
"Baby, I want to…"
Placing a finger on his lips, "No. You don't have to explain. It's over."
Bret took my finger in his mouth sucking on it a sec, then said, "Rayna, please, let me say this. I have to get this out. I did sleep with those girls, or at least I think I did. I drank so much I blacked out. I really don't remember. You know, I was so full of myself, I felt I could have you and everything else. After all, I am a famous rock star. That's what we do. What people expect. It truly never occurred to me that it was wrong. Most girls I've dated weren't faithful either. But you're different from the other women, WHICH Sheila clearly pointed out to me.”
Rayna smiled, thinking, ‘I could imagine what she said.’
Bret continued, “And in hindsight that is probably what attracted me to you, plus the fact you were ignoring me during the concert, and it was killing me," Bret said with a smile on his face, giving her a big, smacking wet kiss before continuing. "But, on my honor, I haven't been with any women since you left. I am only guilty of being drunk and disorderly." Bret leaned in close, looking into my eyes and said, "Rayna, I love you. I don't want to loose you again."
Bret was on his side, allowing him to look down on her, as she was on her back, making it easy to reach up and touch his hair. Playing with it, Rayna said, "There wasn't one day I didn't think about you. I tried not to. I'd work extra hours so I would be so tired I'd go right to sleep. but it didn't always work. You know, it's funny, the house I rent reminds me of the pool house. It has huge front windows looking out at the sea."
Well she had had enough chit chat. What she really wanted was to go to Bret's house. After that Rayna was hoping Bret would give her a ride on his motorcycle.
She got up out of bed and walked the bathroom. Rayna wanted to take a shower. Stopping at the doorway to the bathroom, she looked over her shoulder at Bret. "I can wash that for you if you want," giving Bret a sultry smile then disappeared into the bathroom.
Over the next year Bret and I became closer then ever. We both commuted when time allowed. Poison's popularity as a band grew. They were well on their way to completing their next album.
She was down in L.A.. It was April and the boys were putting the finishing touches on the album. The Boys, recording engineers and producers had all been out at the house. Sheila and Rayna occasionally played hostesses, but for now we were out by the pool.
After awhile, Rayna wandered into the studio. She loved watching Bret record. She pretended he was singing to her. She had gotten into the habit of wearing Bret's shirts because it made her feel close to him and safe, like he was holding her all the time. She had on a long sleeve henley t-shirt, a pair of leggings, and some keds. Her hair was down and loose.
In the studio she found only two people, CC and Bobbie. The two of them were jamming, playing off each other, seemingly working on some riffs. Rayna sat quietly, entranced. Their fingers could move so fast over the strings. When they were done, Bobbie waved her inside. She walked in and said, "That was great! It sounded really good. Is that the beginning of a new song?" finding a stool to sit on.
"Probably. But right now it is just notes on paper.," Bobbie said. He moved over to the electric keyboard and started playing, "Rayna, tell me, what you think of this." The keyboard was set to sound like a regular piano, and it was slow like a love song. CC kicked in playing this crying like sound on his guitar, the sound poignant. She felt like crying.
"Bobbie that was beautiful. Will that turn into a love song?" Rayna asked.
"Actually, yes," he said looking sheepish.
"Bobbie, have you met a girl and didn't tell me? Shame on you," she said, teasingly. "What's her name?"
"Laura."
"Is that all you're gonna tell me? What's she look like?" How did you meet her? How long ago?"
Before Bobbie could reply, CC came up and nuzzled my neck. "So when are you gonna dump Blondie and be my girl?" CC asked.
Rayna leaned to the side away from CC, turned and said, "I'm sorry CC, but I think I'll hang on to Bret a little longer."
"OK, Sis, love ya," CC said, kissed her on the cheek and said, "I'm gonna go see where Blondie and Rockett went." sheI smiled. She couldn’t remember when CC started calling her ‘sis’. Watching CC leave, she thought, they played that same game ever since Bret and her got back together.
Looking back at Bobbie, Rayna said, "So...."
"So....." he said, softly playing the keyboard.
"Tell me."
"Um, her name is Laura and I met her at a Starbucks in Malibu. She's the owner there. You know how much I love my coffee."
She smiled in agreement.
"Well, She sees me come in all the time and she's a big fan and well we just got to talking. She's very down to earth. We've been taking it slow, getting to know each other," Bobbie finished.
"Bobbie, that's wonderful. I am so happy for you." She walked over and sat down on the bench, listening while he continued to play. Little did she know that Bret was conspiring against her out in the garage.
The recording people had already left, the final recordings done and off to be printed.
"Guys, I want to ask Rayna to marry me. I want to surprise her at one of the concerts," Bret said looking at Sheila, Rikki and CC. "None of you are to spill the beans...understood?" They all nodded in agreement, grinning from ear to ear.
"Bout time," Rikki said.
Sheila, too happy for words, just hugged him hard.
CC shook his hand and clapped him on the back, "Congrats Bro. Rayna is an awesome woman. She still won't leave you for me, though."
Bret chuckled and said, "Damn straight, she won't. I am not letting her go."
So all of them planned things out. Bobbie had lost the coin toss, to keep Rayna occupied for awhile. But to him it was a win, because he really enjoyed Rayna's company. It seems they were all growing up, their priorities changing. Sheila and Rayna showed them there's more to life than being drunk and stoned all the time.
Bobbie stopped playing, looked down at his watch and said, "Hey, let's go see where everyone is. They've all been gone a long time." He rose, held out his hand to Rayna to help her up, and the two of them went in search of the others.
It was a warm august night and she was at the office working on some depositions, when one of the secretaries came in, "Rayna, there's a limo driver here for you."
She looked at Joan in confusion, not really sure why one would be there. Rayna knew they were in concert here in San Fran tonight, but she had planned to drive there after work. Rayna walked out to the lobby and saw a young man there.
"Miss Rayna, my name's Steve. Bret sent me to pick you up for the concert."
"Um..OK." Rayna said still in confusion. "Can you wait a minute for me?"
"Yes ma'am."
She went back to her office to straighten up and to grab her purse. She said goodnight to Joan and followed Steve to the limo.
Rayna had planned on going home to change but she guessed her work clothes would do. Steve opened the door and I stepped in. and sat down. My senses were immediately bombarded with the smell of roses! OH GOD! there were flowers everywhere. Roses. All kinds. Just like that first time. Right in front of me was a box of tissues with a card. I laughed out loud to myself. Bret thought of everything. I pulled out a rose and held it to my nose as I opened the card and it read.....
If I ever let you down, I didn’t mean to do that
If you need me and I’m not around, I am sorry for that
Sometimes life is strange, some days it pulls me away from you
But on my soul I swear, for you I will be there to
Give you love, give you strength
Get you through your darkest days
When you cry I’ll dry the tears for you
Through the years through the pain
Times of heartache times of change
I’ll be your sun you be my Rayn
OK. I grabbed tissue after tissue to stem the flow of my silly tears. I was going to tell him I loved him tonight no matter what. He still kept me from saying it. He just kept saying he wanted me to be sure before I actually said it out loud. He was being cute, but it was starting to drive me nuts. We arrived at the concert and the limo door opened and Kimo was there to escort me in. I hugged him and kissed him on the cheek, "Kimo it is good to see you."
"You, too, Rayna. Here's you pass," he said handing me an all access pass. I never had one before. I got to looking at it. It didn't seem like a normal one, the way I thought one might look. I shook my head in wonderment as I figured out what it really said...."ALL ACCESS PASS TO BRET MICHAELS", with a majorly awesome picture of him, practically naked, under the words. Kimo led me to the side of the stage where I could see the stage, the guys, and the audience. I had no idea where Sheila was, but I'm sure she was close as she was never far from Rikki, when I felt a tap on my shoulder.
"AAHH!" I jumped. "Sheila, you scared me."
"Sorry," Sheila said. "Girl you cannot be at the concert dressed like that!" Sheila exclaimed, pulling me aside.
"What? What's wrong with the way I look?" I looked down at myself. I had on a gray suit. Skirt, blouse, jacket, nylons and 2inch heels. My hair was in a bun.
"Honey, you're at a Poison concert, not a board meeting. Haven't I taught you anything? You are dating the lead singer. We need to make you a bit sexier." And Sheila set out to make me over in five minutes or less. She took off my jacket, unbuttoned my blouse to where my bra showed a bit. I tried to do up a button but she smacked me on the hand.
"Tsk, tsk. The only sexy thing you have on are your nylons and shoes." Sheila took my hair down, whipped out a comb and hairspray and proceeded to tease and spray my hair. She applied some makeup and lipstick. I like never wore a lot of make up, just the natural look. Then she whipped out a mirror to show me what I looked like. Wow, I thought, with a raise of an eyebrow. Not bad. At least I didn't look like a tramp, but more like music video vixen.
"Sheila, tell me again why I have to look like this?" I asked. I was never comfortable being flashy. I was better at understated.
Sheila tried to come up with a plausible explanation. For Rayna to just stand and watch, she probably didn't need the make over, but Sheila knew Bret was going to ask her out on stage. So, Sheila decided to play on her jealousy and possessiveness, and hopefully she won't be mad at her later for fibbing, cause she didn't want to spill the beans.
"When the concert is over, you want to be the one who gets Bret. You want to look your best. NOT that Bret wouldn't choose you, but there are other people around...photographers, groupies. Competition for Bret's attention. You want to make Bret look good."
"Well, if you say so. You know more about that than I do," I said tugging at my blouse.
"Stop that. You need to show some cleavage. You have some you know."
"Alright.," I said in exasperation. Sheila then shoved me back along the side of the stage, so Bret would be able to catch a glimpse of me and I could watch the concert.
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